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Re: Computer Nightmare


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BIBLIST - Topics in Nordic research library user services <[log in to unmask]>


Tue, 15 Oct 1996 15:16:54 +0200





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>>> For all of you who have experienced the king of all computer
>>> nightmares, this one's for you.
>>> Subject: Computer Poetry
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >- To the meter of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe... >
>>> >Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
>>> >System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
>>> >Longing for the warmth of bed sheets,
>>> >still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
>>> >Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
>>> >I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
>>> >Only this and nothing more.
>>> >
>>> >Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
>>> >Doubting, while the disk kept churning,
>>> >turning yet to churn some more.
>>> >But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
>>> >"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
>>> One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
>>> >Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
>>> >
>>> >Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
>>> >These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
>>> >Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
>>> >The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
>>> >Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
>>> >>From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
>>> >
>>> >With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
>>> >Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
>>> >Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
>>> >But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
>>> >Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
>>> >Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
>>> >
>>> >I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again,
>>> >but twice as hard.
>>> >I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried
>>> >and then I swore.
>>> >Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
>>> >Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
>>> >Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
>>> >Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
>>> >
>>> >There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
>>> >Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
>>> >And then I saw a dreadful sight:
>>> >a lightning bolt cut through the night.
>>> >A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
>>> >The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
>>> >Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
>>> >
>>> >To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
>>> >What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
>>> >Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
>>> >But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
>>> >You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
>>> >Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
>>> >
>>> > -Author unknown

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